SPEAK OF THE DEVIL

I think it’s fair to say that if your child is possessed by the Evil One, and you solicit the help of a priest, stay in the room to keep an eye on things during the ceremony.

Seriously, can you find a reliable priest for an exorcism anymore? And by reliable, I mean one that isn’t a demon himself? Surely there has been an uptick in untreated demonic possession since these priests started getting outed. People are afraid to let them in the house, much less be alone with their kids, giving the true hell spawn unfettered access to your offspring, resulting in a nonstop stream of blasphemy and projectile vomit. Admittedly, some of the things these possessed children say are kind of funny, cute even, but that infernal pea soup barf is almost impossible to scrape off the walls.

Now that we’ve discussed the church, let’s talk about the Exorcist, one of the few movies I find truly terrifying. I rarely watch this film because I end up seeing little Linda Blair Regan MacNeil’s creepy possessed face in the shadows for at least a month after I view it. In fact, while I was drawing this cartoon (which took forever, since four panels is four times the work that I usually put in), my wife put on the film and I told her no way, change the movie, and we watched Species instead — a movie in which the greatest horror is listening to Ben Kingsley attempt to speak English with an American accent.

Thank you for reading! Tune in next week for more horror comedy cartoons.