Being a slasher is dangerous work, and not just from victims fighting back with guns, sewing needles, and fire. Handling sharp tools, chainsaws, and other implements of destruction on a regular basis is bound to result in the occasional accident or, as illustrated above, repetitive muscle strain. Good posture, a relaxed grip, and a regular stretch regime are essential. Don’t worry though, a bit of rest, ice, compression, and Excedrin should have Jason back in fighting shape for this year’s special snowy Friday the 13th in December.
Does Jason wear a hockey mask? No doubt these half-man, half-wolf creatures are capable of contracting this terrible disease, and some have even theorized (incorrectly) that the entire idea of werewolves originated from stories associated with the rabies virus.
Those of us who know better (horror fans) understand that werewolves come in many shapes and sizes — some are part of an ancient race of shapeshifters while others have “The Curse” that causes transformation during the full moon (people with this affliction often wake up naked at the zoo). Still others are ordinary people who simply drink too much and turn into complete maniacs. People with this affliction often wake up at the police station.
Tonight is a full moon, by the way, so make sure to hang your wolfsbane in the window and if you do happen to see a canined lycanthrope at the 24 hour vet, give him a scratch behind the ears and thank him for acting responsibly. After all, if you happen to get bit and undergo transformation, do you really want to start your lunar rampage hallucinating and foaming at the mouth?
Thanks for reading! Howl at the full moon tonight and check back next week for more horror comedy cartoon from Grinsane!
Do you break into a cold sweat or does your face swell up like balloon when entering a house of worship? Then perhaps you have undiagnosed allergies that you should be concerned about. For years I struggled with an overriding desire to vomit when exposed to religious mumbo jumbo, but now I just take a Benadryl and it puts me right to sleep. Works great on airplanes, at the bus stop, or visiting religious family members. Amen!
Thanks for reading. Check back next week for more horror comedy cartoons from Grinsane.
Smells like rotten human, dead cat, and radiator fluid. Kind of like a port-o-potty at a NASCAR race.
I based this comic on the iconic scene from Alien 3 where Ripley comes cheek-to-face with her biomechanical nemesis (a xenomorph, in the Alien parlance). However, instead depicting the bald, military Ripley from that film, I drew her more like the original Ripley – with her amazing mop. I wasn’t going to let the question of cinematic accuracy distract me from the pleasure of cartooning a fantastic hairdo.
CERTS IN SPACE
Shaving Ripley bald may have been the first mistake of Alien 3, a notorious box office flop. Actually, I think all but the ending of the movie (heresy) is plenty okay, especially compared to some of what has followed. Truly the Alien franchise is a classic example of “nothing beats the original.” However, the “Alien kiss” scene in 3 has definitely transcended the movie it was hatched in and withstood the test of time, not to mention sending a message to future astronauts: bring extra breath mints.
Someone toss that alien a Tic Tac
This cartoon was a last minute addition while I continue work on my epic “Attack of the Late Summer” ants series (three thematically related cartoons detailing my ongoing battle with the sinister ants who keep invading the house).
Thank you for reading! Check back next week for another horror comedy episode of Grinsane.
Ten years ago it seemed like a fella couldn’t go on a hunting or fishing trip without coming home buttsore from an alien abduction. Today, we hear very little of such events. A few possible theories:
• SOCIAL CHANGE AMONGST THE ALIENS. Just as we have animal rights activists fighting against animal experimentation, aliens may have similar elements in their society seeking to end experimentation on lower life forms. In other words, it’s no longer alien PC to probe us.
• THEY FIGURED US OUT ALREADY. How many rednecks does one really need to finger to discover what humans are made of “on the inside”? After probing half the male population of Wyoming, they have their data on us and moved on to the next phase, like planning their forthcoming invasion of Earth and preparing the human slaughter chamber / meat processing facility on the dark side of the moon.
• ALIEN ABDUCTIONS ARE JUST TOO COMMONPLACE. Kind of like complaining about Comcast customer service, or freeway traffic, or the satanic influence of Dungeons and Dragons. Blah blah blah, who cares? Alien abductions are still happening around us every day, but people just don’t talk about them anymore, because no one is interested in hearing about them because they star you instead of Jennifer Lawrence. If you haven’t been abducted yet, take a number and get in line. Even the aliens own propaganda network, the Discovery Channel, has backed away from alien stories to present new informational atrocities.
• GROWING ACCEPTANCE OF HOMOSEXUALITY IN SOCIETY. This is the most likely possibility in my opinion. Consider the structure of the average male “weekend with the buddies” camping trip: Men deep in the woods without women; lots of alcohol loosening up scruples (and belt buckles); playing with guns and rods; bears. You might as well throw a pink umbrella in that cocktail. Nowadays men are more likely to accept a g(r)ay moment in their lives, but 10 years ago it was psychologically easier to attribute the hazy masked rituals of the church man camp to aliens.
Thank you for visiting Grinsane! I hope you enjoyed this special science fiction horror cartoon installment. Stay tuned next week for… um… I don’t yet, but I’ll think of something (send topics).
