Like an exotic butterfly or rare orchid, the mysterious white goth is rarely seen in the wild. Only a few intrepid explorers have set their eyes on white goths — and even fewer have lived to tell the tale. Some might argue that Lady Gaga is actually a white goth, but Lady Gaga only employs white goth mimicry to sell albums and concert tickets. True white goths are only found creeping around decrepit mausoleums deep the haunted forests of Eastern Europe or slinking out of the restrooms at a Kentucky Vampires concert. Unfortunately, rampant collection by goth hunters as well as prejudice from traditional black-attired goths have driven these inverted maidens of counter darkness into almost complete obscurity. If you do happen to see a white goth, please be respectful and appreciate the moment without flash photography or butterfly nets.
Do Androids dream of electric sheep? Do elephants dream of smooshing “big game” hunters with nothing better to do than kill for pleasure the world’s remaining wildlife?
THAT SKANK WHO SHOT THE GIRAFFE
I had the idea for this cartoon over a year ago, including the line “that skank who shot the giraffe.” I imagine all of the names in this comic being said in an Arya Stark voice, and probably had the idea while watching Game of Thrones. Sadly, at the time I was thinking of some other skank (trashy female), but then just last week here come photos of a new skank proudly posing with an 18-year-old giraffe she just capped for no other reason than “it wuzz hur dream.”
Well, fuck all y’all great white hunters and your fanciful stories of doing “conservation work” by blasting creatures and feeding the starving villagers. Go check your psychopathy into a mental hospital or find some other outlet for your need to stalk and shoot things (photography? paint ball?)
Thanks for reading!
Many people have mixed feelings about hunting, but managed properly, it can actually be good for the environment. There are way too many people on this planet!
This comic arose from a theoretical question I was pondering while out hiking during hunting season — what if for every 100 deer licenses issued to humans, there was one human license issued to a Predator. The Predator would only be allowed to harvest one human, and it couldn’t be a pregnant female. Would people still go hunting for deer?
Personally, I think the 1-in-100 odds might be a little discouraging to your average person. But bump them up to 1 human per 1000 deer and…?
Please leave me a comment if you have an opinion on the matter.
Also, if you think a movie sequel could be made around this concept.
One thing is for sure, under the new rules, hunters would really earn their trophies — if not becoming one first.
Thanks for reading! See you next week for another horror comedy cartoon from Grinsane.
The ET finger, not just for healing.
ALIEN ABDUCTIONS: ARE THEY STILL A THING?
Ten years ago it seemed like a fella couldn’t go on a hunting or fishing trip without coming home buttsore from an alien abduction. Today, we hear very little of such events. A few possible theories:
• SOCIAL CHANGE AMONGST THE ALIENS. Just as we have animal rights activists fighting against animal experimentation, aliens may have similar elements in their society seeking to end experimentation on lower life forms. In other words, it’s no longer alien PC to probe us.
• THEY FIGURED US OUT ALREADY. How many rednecks does one really need to finger to discover what humans are made of “on the inside”? After probing half the male population of Wyoming, they have their data on us and moved on to the next phase, like planning their forthcoming invasion of Earth and preparing the human slaughter chamber / meat processing facility on the dark side of the moon.
• ALIEN ABDUCTIONS ARE JUST TOO COMMONPLACE. Kind of like complaining about Comcast customer service, or freeway traffic, or the satanic influence of Dungeons and Dragons. Blah blah blah, who cares? Alien abductions are still happening around us every day, but people just don’t talk about them anymore, because no one is interested in hearing about them because they star you instead of Jennifer Lawrence. If you haven’t been abducted yet, take a number and get in line. Even the aliens own propaganda network, the Discovery Channel, has backed away from alien stories to present new informational atrocities.
• GROWING ACCEPTANCE OF HOMOSEXUALITY IN SOCIETY. This is the most likely possibility in my opinion. Consider the structure of the average male “weekend with the buddies” camping trip: Men deep in the woods without women; lots of alcohol loosening up scruples (and belt buckles); playing with guns and rods; bears. You might as well throw a pink umbrella in that cocktail. Nowadays men are more likely to accept a g(r)ay moment in their lives, but 10 years ago it was psychologically easier to attribute the hazy masked rituals of the church man camp to aliens.
Thank you for visiting Grinsane! I hope you enjoyed this special science fiction horror cartoon installment. Stay tuned next week for… um… I don’t yet, but I’ll think of something (send topics).