Quetzalcoatl was the feathered serpent god of the Aztecs, a detail that may be important to understanding this cartoon. With the resurgence in recent years of many pagan religions (perhaps due to the popularity of Game of Thrones), it’s only a matter of time before a scenario like this plays out on your local street corner or supermarket parking lot. Be careful though about getting sucked into unfamiliar religions based on their attractive clothing and stylish hats — some have strict rituals associated with them that may be hard to comply with. In the case of the Aztecs, human sacrifice all the rage, and not just for the unfortunates captured in their wars or found wandering the beaches drunk after sunset. It was considered an honor for practitioners of the religion to willingly sacrifice themselves to the gods (sometimes after a game of basketball), having their still-beating hearts carved from their chests before their bodies were kicked down a steep flight of stairs and then eaten for dinner.
They should really be thanking him.
Do Werewolves Carry Rabies?
Does Jason wear a hockey mask? No doubt these half-man, half-wolf creatures are capable of contracting this terrible disease, and some have even theorized (incorrectly) that the entire idea of werewolves originated from stories associated with the rabies virus.
Those of us who know better (horror fans) understand that werewolves come in many shapes and sizes — some are part of an ancient race of shapeshifters while others have “The Curse” that causes transformation during the full moon (people with this affliction often wake up naked at the zoo). Still others are ordinary people who simply drink too much and turn into complete maniacs. People with this affliction often wake up at the police station.
Tonight is a full moon, by the way, so make sure to hang your wolfsbane in the window and if you do happen to see a canined lycanthrope at the 24 hour vet, give him a scratch behind the ears and thank him for acting responsibly. After all, if you happen to get bit and undergo transformation, do you really want to start your lunar rampage hallucinating and foaming at the mouth?
Thanks for reading! Howl at the full moon tonight and check back next week for more horror comedy cartoon from Grinsane!
Some of you may squirm at this cartoon, but when you’re a gorgon, happy snakes make happy hair, and fresh rodents are required for body and bounce.
MEDUSA FEEDS HER SNAKES
Before you get outraged at this conceivably cruel comic, check the ingredients on your own shampoo bottle. Read all the tiny words and tell me you aren’t putting snake oil on your hair. Mice guts, too. You can thank Aristotle for that.
Even today, many beauty salons in Greece contain cages of live mice for their more “classical” customers.
You see, besides giving us yummy sandwiches, a bunch of our words, and strange ideas about the nature of existence (and boys), the Greeks gave us shampoo. And no one was more influential to the budding Greek shampoo industry than the three Gorgon sisters of Sarpedon Island, Medusa, Stheno, and Euryale.
Suffering from a dire shortage of men, these lonely women spent hours daily on their hair, primping and preening the most fantastic weaves of the Aegean. Many of the shampoos, conditioners, oils, and tonics developed by the sisters are still in use today. As Vidal Sassoon once famously said, “if you don’t look good, you don’t have snakes in your hair.”
Unfortunately, Medusa and her siblings didn’t realize it was their eyes, not their hair, that needed the work. A good pair of sunglasses would have made all the difference for these desperate women. Today, Sarpedon Island is still covered in chunks of ossified sailors who spied the beautiful girls from a distance, then landed on the beach only to get stoned in the worst possible way.
A bit more on feeding snakes. I used to feed a couple of snakes as part of job I had (although the food was frozen). Snakes get really excited when they detect a mouse is on the way. Their tongues begin to flicker, and a little switch goes off in their heads that instantly transforms them from paperweights into killers. That’s why many people use chopsticks to feed them.
Yep, the Greeks invented those too. Sorry, China. “Sarpedon sticks” were imported to Asia by Chinese sailors in 100 BCE, instantly replacing the “shell truncheon” on millions of dinner tables.