Vampires may be bloodthirsty but they are also hopelessly romantic. Case in point — this frisky fellow with his heart shaped coffin made for two. Ample, um, “sleeping quarters” are also equipped with an 8k flatscreen, stereophonic sound, and chilled champagne (tinted with just the right amount of blood to create a perfect pink). What vampiress could resist the invitation of this undead Casanova?
Why keep a bunch of crunchy old flesh masks hanging around the house when you could be making room for new ones?
DOES IT SPARK JOY?
I don’t know, does it include spark plugs and make a lot of noise? Does it blend? Really, there is no reason for anyone to possess more than a dozen dead skin masks, especially an insane man child living in a remote part of Texas — there just aren’t enough social opportunities out there requiring that many changes of face.
NETFLIX AND STIHL
I haven’t seen the Marie Kondo show. No desire. I like my unwieldy hoard of books. I like having a garage full of broken tools. I’ve still got power cables for every computer I’ve owned since 1995. I’ve got original Heavy Metal magazines from the 80s and Freak Brothers comics from the 70s and they aren’t going anywhere without a fight!
Thanks for reading — check back next week for more horror comedy cartoons from Grinsane!