Happy Thanksgiving! There are many Thanksgiving traditions, but none quite as revered as the slicing of the turkey. Traditionally this duty belongs to the patriarch, who has generally done nothing in the kitchen that day but suddenly emerges as the only one capable of this profound act of dexterity, thereby reaping an undeserved degree of credit for the meal while his beleaguered wife pours herself a fourth glass of wine and topples from exhaustion. But in the Sawyer Family the responsibility of cutting up the bird is granted to the youngest child, Leatherface, who does such a superb job rendering the meal into bite size bits that no one would dare challenge him. And mmmmmmmm, nothing really seasons a bird like fresh chainsaw oil.
Not your typical use for a selfie stick.
I made this cartoon based on the notion that as of yet no one has deliberately fed themselves to a giant snake in order to capture what would be compelling video footage — but that in this day and age of dangerous selfies, someone probably would. Then I remembered, wait, there was some guy who actually tried to get himself eaten by an anaconda and even constructed a protective suit for this purpose. The media-hungry “wildlife expert” changed his mind when the meat-hungry wildlife actually began to eat him.
Because of this man’s timidity, the “Feed Yourself to a Giant Snake Challenge” is still there for anyone determined to go the distance (meaning, from one end of the snake to the other). Florida, the location depicted in this cartoon, has a surplus of pythons so it’s just a matter of finding a hungry one and convincing it you are a small deer or tasty raccoon.
It’s not the kill, it’s the thrill of the flaming marshmallows and melting chocolate. Also, ghost stories and the occasional flash flood.
No hunting trip to Earth is complete without a campfire and s’mores. At the end of the day it doesn’t really matter how many humans you’ve bagged as long as the food and conversation is good.
Do Predators have molars in those crab-like maws of theirs? This comic assumes they do and have no problem masticating graham crackers.
Looking forward to Prey later this summer, including watching the movie in the Comanche language.
Nothing like a good old fashioned fry-up to burn off excess flesh and keep your stomach bubbling. Happy Friday the 13th for those who celebrate (I assume by watching horror movies). To everyone else, watch out for falling safes, rickety ladders, and machete wielding maniacs.
Crystal Lake Burgers
Although the subject is fried food (or fried dude?), I confess to grabbing a bit of low hanging fruit today with the caption as well as the parody burger joint. I don’t recall Crystal Lake Burgers in any of Friday the 13th franchise movies, but it seems like a plausible location in the F13 extended universe (teens gotta eat!).
Thanks for reading!
Happy Earth Day! Please note this fine application of solar panels to provide necessary heating power while keeping the island environment pristine.
The Joy of Cooking [Man]
Welcome to 2022 where space travel is becoming commonplace and the number one kitchen appliance is still crock pot. Yes, this classic cauldron has gotten some new buttons over the years and with increased globalism and international shipping the newest models are now showing up on farthest islands where they are being put to use by locals cooking traditional fare like Explorer Stew and Mannistrone Soup.
Thanks for reading!