Happy Thanksgiving! There are many Thanksgiving traditions, but none quite as revered as the slicing of the turkey. Traditionally this duty belongs to the patriarch, who has generally done nothing in the kitchen that day but suddenly emerges as the only one capable of this profound act of dexterity, thereby reaping an undeserved degree of credit for the meal while his beleaguered wife pours herself a fourth glass of wine and topples from exhaustion. But in the Sawyer Family the responsibility of cutting up the bird is granted to the youngest child, Leatherface, who does such a superb job rendering the meal into bite size bits that no one would dare challenge him. And mmmmmmmm, nothing really seasons a bird like fresh chainsaw oil.
Posts tagged tradition
And none of that cheap stuff, either…
Tough neighborhood! We’ve lived in places where no one knocks on the door, but the last two years we’ve averaged about 60 dollars in Halloween candy costs. Who’s driving this racket, the supermarkets or the children, it’s hard to tell, but they are definitely working in tandem. And don’t even think about not having the goods when October 31 rolls around. Just pay up and nobody gets hurt.
Of course, the real challenge is not to eat all the candy yourself before the children arrive, especially now that Oreo is making a candy bar (WTF, Oreo?) I got into a bag of those last night and could almost see the blub growing on my fingers as I reached into the bag.
Thanks for reading! Check back next week for more Halloween horror.