End of summer sadness is a real thing, and something that Jason Voorhees feels every year when Camp Crystal Lake locks its doors for the season. Despite his preternatural hatred of the camp and its irresponsible counselors, Jason nonetheless hates to see the camp shuttered and its staff (those that remain alive) vanish like so many leaves from the trees.
Camp Crystal Lake Closed Until Next Summer
While many people look forward to the fall with its cool temperatures, glowing colors, and fun filled holidays like Halloween, to others the end of summer is a sad time. Late August and September portend the start of winter and the freezing weather, silver skies, and horrible Christmas music that accompany the season. But don’t despair, summer lovers — as sure as the sun continues to rise in the sky before eventually turning red and consuming the earth, the summer season will return again with even greater brutality — hotter, longer, and accompanied by the hacking and slashing of foolish counselors who despite 12 bloody franchise films continue to take seasonal jobs at Camp Crystal Lake.
Caption text in case you’re a robot or using a translator: Despite his hatred of Camp Crystal Lake, Jason always felt sad when summer ended and there was no one around to kill.
Don’t let a mere number on the calendar hold you back from your passion in life, even if that passion means taking the lives of others on your favorite day the year. Jason proves that you don’t need a fully functional brain with proper oxygen levels to think creatively, just a bit of encouragement from mom.
FRIDAY THE 12TH VS SATURDAY THE 14TH
There have been lots of cartoons and even complete movies based on the days surrounding Friday the 13th and permutations thereof. I try to make a Grinsane Jason cartoon every Friday the 13th and keep an eye on the calendar to make that happen. So I was feeling some of the same disappointment as Jason when I realized we had a Friday the 12th instead of a Friday the 13th coming our way this month. But as the Chinese proverb states, every problem has a solution
A MOTHER’S ADVICE
Finally, that head. I personally think it should get more attention in the Friday the 13th franchise. We see it removed in slow motion at the end of Friday the 13th Part I and then it pops up again a couple times in Friday the 13th Part II. Viewing these movies as a child I found that severed head completely terrifying. Watching the movies nowadays it appears a bit rubbery and waxy but I think there’s still a lot of story potential in that rotting cranium. Chatting with severed heads worked out pretty well for Hamlet, no?
I feel better knowing this. I mean, I think I do.
Quarantine Blues
It will be a wonderful day when we can move past the real-life horror of Covid-19 and put horror back where it belongs — on the movie screen! Jason needs to lift his chin up and smell the roses. At least he is isolated in a beautiful place (Camp Crystal Lake is known for its legendary beauty). And when the quarantine is lifted and bum rush to the forest begins he’ll have plenty of plump campers to keep his machete swinging deep into the 2020s. In the meantime, wash your hands, Jason, and keep that mask in place!
Thanks for reading and stay healthy!
The Coronavirus comes to Camp Crystal Lake
Outhouse Etiquette
Someone has to put the kabosh on toilet paper hoarding.
Camp outhouses are generally disgusting places and this situation is made only worse when someone rips off the toilet paper. Even though Jason is generally content to crap in the woods and use a handful of leaves for hygiene, his ingrained sense of justice does not allow him to tolerate people running off with the community ass wiping products. If only he could be deployed to local Wal-Mart to organize the situation there.
Thanks for reading, and try to stay healthy!
Be careful – this one bites back!
Catching the Big One
Camp Crystal Lake is known for its world-famous summer camp, but winter brings visitors to the lake as well. Skating, hockey, and ice fishing are just a few of things you’ll find when Camp Blood is frozen for the season. Just be careful what you hook through that hole in the ice. You never know what might be lurking in the frozen depths.
