If you see ancient Egyptians going door to door in your neighborhood, don’t assume they are coming to talk to you. And don’t assume your cat isn’t interested in what they have to say…
Everyone knows that cats were revered in ancient Egypt if not actually worshipped as gods. Today the reverence continues in the form of countless cat cartoons, cat videos, and cat memes.
There are approximately 400 million cats currently on the planet. Couple that with countless religions and cults and its only a matter of time before true believers show up in your neighborhood and demand an audience with your furry friend.
Don’t just drop the robe, let it slide sensuously from your shoulders. Confront the beast with confidence. Stare it in the eyes, if it has eyes, otherwise focus on the most central tentacle to orient yourself. A simple dive is plenty, but a flip or two doesn’t hurt if you can pull them off. Arch the back slightly on your descent. Aim for the middle of the swarming tentacles. Proper sacrifice form doesn’t have to be Olympic caliber (but it’s pretty nice when it is).
This cult has had so many problems, it’s nice when things go right for a change. Finally things are starting to look down for them.
Tentacles Take Time
It’s been a while since I did a new four panel comic but I took a break from watching the Expanse to do some earnest cartooning this week. I’ve been meaning to draw this one for a while since who doesn’t love drawing evil cultists and nudity? Check back next week for more entertaining religious cartoons.
Sigh, these poor cultists. The last time we checked in with them they were trying to pull the Antichrist away from his Xbox. Since then they seem to have acquired a devil goat (probably for free from a heavy metal band who also learned the hard way about pet ownership).
I struggled with this one a bit. Initially, one of the cultists had a knife and the caption read “Cancel the ritual, the sacrificial goat ate all of our spellbooks,” which is definitely more twisted but wasn’t making me laugh.
These guys in red, by the way, are inspired by countless horror movies from the Seventies which involve robed cultists living in the shadows amongst us. Eventually movies like Rosemary’s Baby, The Devil’s Rain, and Race with the Devil (currently available on Starz) would feed into full Satanic Panic here in the United States.
Thankfully, those folks inclined to see Satan in everything seem to have moved on to more worthwhile pursuits in the new millennium, like getting a porn producer elected president and purchasing luxury jets for their gurus.
Thanks for visiting Grinsane, your source for strange horror comedy cartoons. Next weekend is father’s day and I’ve got an especially twisted toon lined up for all the responsible dads out there.
