Posts tagged cartoon

Kongratulations

Kongratulations published on January 30, 2018 Read more posts by the author of Kongratulations, svatos No Comments on Kongratulations

It was bound to happen at some point. Mr. and Mrs. Kong are pregnant, and that’s a happy thing.

How did it happen exactly? I have no idea. But remember, this is 2018, and there are plenty of no-touch ways for this kind of thing to go down, so wipe that grinsane smile off your face and get your mind out of the gutter.

Now genetics, that’s another matter entirely, but for all I know, the Island of Doctor Moreau and Kong Island are separated by a land bridge that appears at low tide.

And of course, our fair damsel may be trying to pull a fast one on the King. After all, the ape you love to hate is better known for his heart than his brains.

Paternity test pending, I would still like to raise my glass of bubbly orange soda and “kongratulate” the expecting parents. Soon there will be a young Prince or Princess Kong, guaranteeing the Kong legacy for even more King Kong movie reboots and spin offs that I will probably never see (although I heard Kong Island ain’t so bad, and I will never stop playing Donkey Kong).

It’s not that I don’t like watching movies about giant killer apes laying waste to dinosaurs and cities, it’s that the movies always end in a *sniff*. Maybe they’ve fixed that in the last two decades, but I’m tired of seeing a bunch of Donald Trump Junior types stalk around the jungle to chain up and exploit and ultimately kill the Kongster. Not that the movies don’t provide certain pleasures – oh, Don Jr, I found your hat!

Donald Trump Junior — A flat joke? Hail Kong!

Grinsane is launching two comics this week – tune back in Thursday for another installment. In the meantime, keep grinning!

Tags cartoon, childbirth, comic, killer ape, king kong, kong island, monsters, movie parody, pregnant, satire

Black Hole Horror

Black Hole Horror published on January 26, 2018 Read more posts by the author of Black Hole Horror, svatos 1 Comment on Black Hole Horror

Nothing can escape the gravitational pull of a black hole. Nothing, you hear me, nothing! No fancy space ships, no planets that wandered too close to the edge, no light, and not even time itself (I think). It’s just like my inlaws’ refrigerator, the stuff that goes in never comes out, it just sits inside and festers and bubbles and evolves… true cosmic horror!

This is the common understanding of black holes, of course, but then along comes Stephen Hawking who does one of those giant math equations that takes up seventeen chalkboards, and voila, suddenly it’s theoretically possible for itsy bitsy radioactive turdlets to fly out. Thanks, dude, way to immediately turn ten million high school science text books into pulp for toilet paper.

interstellar jessica chastain — “Hawking was right. Waterbears are not related to koalas.”

And since little bitty particles can escape, that leaves the door wide open for you-know-who.

Cthulhu.

Yes, for who else can that be gazing out of the void and reaching for that Elon Musk discount space ship with his sticky green tentacle?

Thanks a ton, wheelchair guy.

“If I say that my somewhat extravagant imagination yielded simultaneous pictures of an octopus, a dragon, and a human caricature, I shall not be unfaithful to the spirit of the thing. A pulpy, tentacled head surmounted a grotesque and scaly body with rudimentary wings; but it was the general outline of the whole which made it most shockingly frightful.”
– Stephen Hawking, A Brief History of Time

Thank for reading Grinsane, featuring weekly dark, weird, and horror comedy cartoons. More toons coming soon! Visit the archive for previous comics.

Tags black hole, cartoon, comic, cthulhu, lovecraft, outer space, science fiction, space ship

Tide Pod Challenge

Tide Pod Challenge published on January 23, 2018 Read more posts by the author of Tide Pod Challenge, svatos 2 Comments on Tide Pod Challenge

Another foamer in the morgue. Tag em, bag em, then try and sweep up the bubbles. Yes, the youth are now eating soap balls for sport, and the Grinsane Police Department is scrambling to make sure “Generation T” doesn’t wash itself off the map while participating in the Tide Pod Challenge.

What is the challenge exactly? Eat a packet of laundry detergent, then post the pictures on the internet. Ostensibly the goal is to raise awareness for rabies, another condition that causes one to foam at the mouth.

cronenberg rabid — Woman with rabies rides elevator.

Like so many public health initiatives, the one to expose the danger of Tide Pods is completely misguided, placing the blame for toxic laundry disasters on society’s eternal scapegoat, the wayward teen. Consider this:

Washing your clothes in toxic chemicals: acceptable use, perfectly cool!
Sending those same toxic chemicals down the drain: right on, no problem!
Allowing idiots to eat yummy soap balls and in the process extinguish themselves from society before they can grow up to be air traffic controllers, train engineers, medical imaging technicians, or simply contribute to the gene pool: bad idea, public health crisis, red alert!

This cartoonist doesn’t want your foaming face wheeling him around the nursing home someday.

And of course the whole thing begs the question – are people so lazy they can’t even measure their own detergent anymore? This is coming from a guy who grew up with powdered soap – there was NEVER a problem with that stuff.

Washing machine disaster — Powdered soap a safe alternative.

Okay, I’ll admit it’s a little sad to see teens tweeting to the Tide Corporation to ask what to do about their burning insides, but, um, really? How did you make it this far in life already?

Check in end of week for another Grinsane cartoon!

p.s. Technical question – is the cartoon clear? My wife says my Tide Pod looks like a smooshed Pepsi Can.

Tags cartoon, comic, detective, gpd, grinsane police department, medical examiner, morgue, tide pods

Devil Baby

Devil Baby published on January 19, 2018 Read more posts by the author of Devil Baby, svatos No Comments on Devil Baby

Ah, the joy of fatherhood, of seeing the devilish fruit of one’s loins grin insanely from the baby cart. Unfortunately, most newborns look about the same which is why they so often get mixed up or swapped out in the hospital with the error discovered only years later.

Although the maternity ward generally does their best to keep babies organized in plastic bins, errors do sometimes occur. Generally it’s a good idea for parents to check their newborns for satanic birthmarks, especially during planetary alignments or the presence of evil nuns or rottweilers in hospital hallways. Having your child evaluated for demonic energy by a priest is always a good idea too. Trust me, going home with a devil baby, much less the Antichrist himself (no matter how cute the grinning bugger may be), is bound to produce problems down the road!

Tags babies, baby grinsane, birth, cartoon, comic, devil baby

Broom Fuel

Broom Fuel published on January 12, 2018 Read more posts by the author of Broom Fuel, svatos No Comments on Broom Fuel

This witch broom is powered on pure evil, none of that unleaded or ethanol diluted malevolence. And no gasoline, either! The reason for that should be obvious (brooms are made of straw and wood, gasoline is flammable, witches have a bad history with fire… enough said).

There is rumor in the witch world that innovative German witches are currently developing a broom powered by lunar powered batteries, but no such broom has been seen in the skies yet. In the meantime, witches will continue to fill up their dutiful transportation sticks with the good stuff, I mean the bad stuff, provided at secret filling stations across the globe.

By the way, have you ever seen a witch do a flip on a broom?

Tags broom, broom fuel, broom jokes, cartoon, comic, gas station, transportation, witch, witch humor, witchcraft, witches

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