How did it happen exactly? I have no idea. But remember, this is 2018, and there are plenty of no-touch ways for this kind of thing to go down, so wipe that grinsane smile off your face and get your mind out of the gutter.

Now genetics, that’s another matter entirely, but for all I know, the Island of Doctor Moreau and Kong Island are separated by a land bridge that appears at low tide.

And of course, our fair damsel may be trying to pull a fast one on the King. After all, the ape you love to hate is better known for his heart than his brains.

Paternity test pending, I would still like to raise my glass of bubbly orange soda and “kongratulate” the expecting parents. Soon there will be a young Prince or Princess Kong, guaranteeing the Kong legacy for even more King Kong movie reboots and spin offs that I will probably never see (although I heard Kong Island ain’t so bad, and I will never stop playing Donkey Kong).

It’s not that I don’t like watching movies about giant killer apes laying waste to dinosaurs and cities, it’s that the movies always end in a *sniff*. Maybe they’ve fixed that in the last two decades, but I’m tired of seeing a bunch of Donald Trump Junior types stalk around the jungle to chain up and exploit and ultimately kill the Kongster. Not that the movies don’t provide certain pleasures – oh, Don Jr, I found your hat!

Grinsane is launching two comics this week – tune back in Thursday for another installment. In the meantime, keep grinning!