Posts tagged movie parody

The Texas Washing Machine Massacre

The Texas Washing Machine Massacre published on February 9, 2018 Read more posts by the author of The Texas Washing Machine Massacre, svatos No Comments on The Texas Washing Machine Massacre

This happens. How could it not? If there is one thing Leatherface cares about, it’s his dead skin mask collection, and he’s not about to just let his folio of faces rot away in a shoebox somewhere. Every visage in his gruesome collection is lovingly laundered after use, and then hung out in the breeze to dry (never put human flesh in a dryer, folks).

What else can we learn from this pastoral cartoon? That Leatherface doesn’t discriminate, that’s what. He’s got an ethnically diverse collection of severed faces, female as well as male, which he wears proudly in keeping with the progressive politics of rural Texas.

Selection is also based on who wandered up the driveway recently.

Also, did you know that Texas has hills? Unless you’ve been there (you may have been scared off by this movie, which has been officially banned by the Texas Tourism Bureau), you probably thought it was flat as a cow patty. Sure, it’s pretty level in spots, but West Texas has canyons, mountains, a Sasquatch, the whole deal. Cow patties aren’t really flat, either.

Die hard fans of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre (clergy) will be quick to point out that Central Texas, where the movie takes place, is actually pretty flat. But I needed to take some artistic license in order to fill the frame of this cartoon. So, um, the family must have relocated after their barbecue truck got audited by the Austin health inspector. Yeah, that’s what happened…

Next week is SNOW WEEK! Celebrate the horror of winter with original Grinsane cartoons featuring snow and ice.

Tags cartoon, comic, dead skin mask, domestic chores, horror movies, human taxidermy, laundry, leatherface, movie parody, sawyer family, texas chainsaw massacre

Bad Omen

Bad Omen published on February 6, 2018 Read more posts by the author of Bad Omen, svatos No Comments on Bad Omen

They say video games are evil, but the Antichrist is evil too (duh), so if the Antichrist spends all of his time playing video games instead of Antichristing, does that make video games actually a force for good?

Or does it depend on the video game? Please contemplate this cartoon for the answer.

I don’t know video games well enough to really judge. My day job is too much like a video game to spend any additional time in front of the computer. But having been a kid when video games were born, I remember most of them being about fighting evil. That, and eating dots.

Oh, but there was that game Unreal Tournament, which I got hooked on for a short while at work. That’s the game where you shoot circular saw blades out of a gun to decapitate your coworkers. As “evil” as that sounds, it wasn’t like we were part of a Satanic cult, sacrificing cats (sniff) and listening to Stairway to Heaven backwards while we did it.

We did listen to Slayer, however, and drank a lot of Diet Coke.

So maybe video games are a little evil. The same has been said about cartoons, God bless ’em.

I’m not sure what game his young Lordship is playing, but if I had to guess, it’s something in the Mario family.

How can I tell? By the sad look on his followers’ faces, of course. Mario is highly addictive, the crack cocaine of the video game world. The cartoon Antichrist has been playing for days on end, much to the detriment of the end of days. The cult wants nothing more than to chant and blaspheme, but all they can do wait for the Devil Child to save another Princess. This isn’t what they sold their souls for!

Thank you for reading Grinsane. Please subscribe to updates and come back Friday for another weird cartoon!

Tags antichrist, cartoon, children, comic, creepy kids, cult, damien, gamers, horror movies, movie parody, rosemary's baby, the omen, video games

Kongratulations

Kongratulations published on January 30, 2018 Read more posts by the author of Kongratulations, svatos No Comments on Kongratulations

It was bound to happen at some point. Mr. and Mrs. Kong are pregnant, and that’s a happy thing.

How did it happen exactly? I have no idea. But remember, this is 2018, and there are plenty of no-touch ways for this kind of thing to go down, so wipe that grinsane smile off your face and get your mind out of the gutter.

Now genetics, that’s another matter entirely, but for all I know, the Island of Doctor Moreau and Kong Island are separated by a land bridge that appears at low tide.

And of course, our fair damsel may be trying to pull a fast one on the King. After all, the ape you love to hate is better known for his heart than his brains.

Paternity test pending, I would still like to raise my glass of bubbly orange soda and “kongratulate” the expecting parents. Soon there will be a young Prince or Princess Kong, guaranteeing the Kong legacy for even more King Kong movie reboots and spin offs that I will probably never see (although I heard Kong Island ain’t so bad, and I will never stop playing Donkey Kong).

It’s not that I don’t like watching movies about giant killer apes laying waste to dinosaurs and cities, it’s that the movies always end in a *sniff*. Maybe they’ve fixed that in the last two decades, but I’m tired of seeing a bunch of Donald Trump Junior types stalk around the jungle to chain up and exploit and ultimately kill the Kongster. Not that the movies don’t provide certain pleasures – oh, Don Jr, I found your hat!

Donald Trump Junior — A flat joke? Hail Kong!

Grinsane is launching two comics this week – tune back in Thursday for another installment. In the meantime, keep grinning!

Tags cartoon, childbirth, comic, killer ape, king kong, kong island, monsters, movie parody, pregnant, satire

Free Knife Sharpening

Free Knife Sharpening published on January 6, 2018 Read more posts by the author of Free Knife Sharpening, svatos No Comments on Free Knife Sharpening

After a busy Halloween or Friday the 13th it’s not uncommon to find one’s machete or butcher knife completely dulled out from high use, and that’s when Grinsane Blades free knife sharpening service comes in handy.

When all is said and done, killing teenagers is really not that profitable (unless you’re a movie producer), so even classic horror villains are looking to save money anywhere they can.

All Grinsane Blades asks for this fine free service is that when you are ready to purchase a new blade, you talk to someone else first. We have nothing sharp for you in our store, only soft and fuzzy things. If you need something with points, spikes, or a fine edge, there are always great deals to be had at Wal-Mart or Home Depot.

(You may be wondering why the comic says “Bob’s Blades”. This is because Bob’s Blades came under new ownership last Halloween night. Grinsane owns it now. Still looking for Bob. Sign not updated. Enough said…)

Tags a nightmare on elm street, cartoon, comic, freddy krueger, friday the 13th, full moon, halloween, horror movies, jason, jason voorhees, michael myers, movie parody, nightmare on elm street, psycho, scream

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