A deranged killer, most likely a renegade party clown, has inflated another victim and vanished into thin air. Fortunately, the Grinsane Police Department (GPD) is on the case, deciphering the clues before they float away.
A disturbing note was found at the scene of the crime. It reads:
Paranoid, sitting in a deep sweat.
Thinking, I’ve got to inflate somebody before the week ends
The sound of compressed air excites me
Sit down and watch you float away.
Apparently turning humans into squeaky animal sculptures is not this maniac’s only talent.
Along with all of your snacks, furniture, and comic books. At least the victim in this cartoon made a noble effort to get rid of the alien attacker by… um… using his remote control? Sorry, dude, you can’t just turn off a blob attack like a bad horror sequel on Netflix — should have kept a flamethrower under that purple couch.
BLOB-ON-BLOB CRIME
Now before some of you go accusing me of “fat shaming” people that lay around on the couch eating pizza and popcorn all the time, let me point out:
1) the guy ain’t all that fat (he’s only a blob in the evenings and that gut tucks in real well with a belt).
2) it’s a self portrait.
Thanks for reading! Creep, leap, or slide back here next week for another horror comedy cartoon from Grinsane.
Another foamer in the morgue. Tag em, bag em, then try and sweep up the bubbles. Yes, the youth are now eating soap balls for sport, and the Grinsane Police Department is scrambling to make sure “Generation T” doesn’t wash itself off the map while participating in the Tide Pod Challenge.
What is the challenge exactly? Eat a packet of laundry detergent, then post the pictures on the internet. Ostensibly the goal is to raise awareness for rabies, another condition that causes one to foam at the mouth.
Woman with rabies rides elevator.
Like so many public health initiatives, the one to expose the danger of Tide Pods is completely misguided, placing the blame for toxic laundry disasters on society’s eternal scapegoat, the wayward teen. Consider this:
Washing your clothes in toxic chemicals: acceptable use, perfectly cool!
Sending those same toxic chemicals down the drain: right on, no problem!
Allowing idiots to eat yummy soap balls and in the process extinguish themselves from society before they can grow up to be air traffic controllers, train engineers, medical imaging technicians, or simply contribute to the gene pool: bad idea, public health crisis, red alert!
This cartoonist doesn’t want your foaming face wheeling him around the nursing home someday.
And of course the whole thing begs the question – are people so lazy they can’t even measure their own detergent anymore? This is coming from a guy who grew up with powdered soap – there was NEVER a problem with that stuff.
Powdered soap a safe alternative.
Okay, I’ll admit it’s a little sad to see teens tweeting to the Tide Corporation to ask what to do about their burning insides, but, um, really? How did you make it this far in life already?
Check in end of week for another Grinsane cartoon!
p.s. Technical question – is the cartoon clear? My wife says my Tide Pod looks like a smooshed Pepsi Can.
