Finally, exclusive cartoon footage of a Russian troll farm. You’ve undoubtably been hearing a lot about these strange agricultural enterprises, and wishing someone could peel back the onion layers to give you a peek inside, and so… you’re welcome!
INSIDE A RUSSIAN TROLL FARM
Grinsane has cartoon correspondents all over the globe, including mysterious Russia where trolls no longer live under bridges, but are actively farmed. When we heard that monsters were being grown like broccoli over there, we immediately activated our local sleeper cell cartoonist and ordered him to sniff around the Russian countryside with his sketch pad and the latest Photoshop. Needless to say, we were horrified at what he documented: acres upon acres of trolls being produced and harvested like cabbage.
How do they do it, you may wonder? We aren’t certain on details, but our correspondent remarked that the soil where he did his sketching was hot – as in totally radiated. This explains the various hair colors you see on the trolls in the cartoon. It seems these troll farms have been erected on former Soviet nuclear waste dumps and most likely the radiation found in such places is essential to the growth of the trolls.
This radiation could be impacting the trolls’ intelligence as well. Historically, trolls are known for being incredibly stupid (and easy to fool). Although this latest batch is capable of using computers to write ludicrous articles for the internet, you have to wonder what it says about us humans who are so eager to believe and pass around the latest troll texts.
So beware of trolls. Once they get off the farm, you never know where they could appear. Oh, and speaking of Russia, one other piece of information you might appreciate… you know that Donald Trump pee tape everyone was talking about a year ago? Totally true. Our guy popped into the Russian version of a 7-11 to buy some unfiltered Marlboro cigarettes and saw copies for sale right there on the shelf next to the Russian Twinkies. Only a matter of time before it shows up on YouTube.
Check back Thursday for another horror comedy cartoon!