Yes, I’d Like a Straw with That

Restaurants are opening for dine-in table service again, but the question remains, is dining out safe? Well, soup certainly is, provided it’s served the proper way, by a waiter in a haz-mat suit with a six food ladle and a specialized slurping straw attached to your mask. I would feel relatively safe patronizing the fine dining establishing depicted in this cartoon, assuming there wasn’t a bat floating in the broth.

So get out there great warriors and save America, a country so powerful it can’t survive a two month pause without completely imploding. I mean, really — if we can’t even slow down for a couple months without destroying ourselves, isn’t there something worse than the coronavirus at play here?

Thanks for reading!