VALENTINE’S DAY SUPERSTORE

Teddy bears, candy hearts, crossbows… truly the Val-Mart Valentine’s Day Superstore has everything you need for a successful V-Day no matter the state of your relationship. With places like Spirit Halloween colonizing empty warehouses every time October rolls around, it’s only a matter of time before something like this appears in February to outfit Cupid’s favorite day on the calendar.

What exactly is Mr. Black Sweatsuit planning to do with that spade and ballista? Don’t jump to conclusions — winter gardening is a real thing and more and more women are hunting nowadays, so I’m sure the man’s product selection is completely benevolent and has nothing to do with, um, him going back on the singles market.

Thanks for reading! Grinsane loves Valentine’s Day so I’ve been working extra hard in the laboratory this week to produce extra material. Check back in on Thursday for another horror comedy cartoon.