J.R. MACREADY: HEAVY DRINKING ANTARCTIC SUPERDAD

John Carpenter’s The Thing never mentions Mrs. MacReady, therefore I’ve taken a bit of artistic liberty here. There must be a reason J.R. is working in Antarctica, no? Escaping an ex wife and kids seems like a safe bet. For some reason their relationship never worked out despite a shared interest in strong bourbon, chain smoking, and extensive hair activator.

Which doesn’t mean that J.R. doesn’t care about his children. He drinks hard for a reason, and still manages to get out the occasional birthday card to Ooops 1 and Ooops 2 when the boat pulls into McMurdo. Still, giving kids a puppy for Christmas is something that should really be discussed by both parents. Who’s going to clean up after that dog, after all? I’m sure it won’t be J.R. unless he’s using a flame thrower.

Thanks for reading! More horror comedy holiday humor is on the way this month, so check back next week for another episode of Grinsane.