The ET finger, not just for healing.
ALIEN ABDUCTIONS: ARE THEY STILL A THING?
Ten years ago it seemed like a fella couldn’t go on a hunting or fishing trip without coming home buttsore from an alien abduction. Today, we hear very little of such events. A few possible theories:
• SOCIAL CHANGE AMONGST THE ALIENS. Just as we have animal rights activists fighting against animal experimentation, aliens may have similar elements in their society seeking to end experimentation on lower life forms. In other words, it’s no longer alien PC to probe us.
• THEY FIGURED US OUT ALREADY. How many rednecks does one really need to finger to discover what humans are made of “on the inside”? After probing half the male population of Wyoming, they have their data on us and moved on to the next phase, like planning their forthcoming invasion of Earth and preparing the human slaughter chamber / meat processing facility on the dark side of the moon.
• ALIEN ABDUCTIONS ARE JUST TOO COMMONPLACE. Kind of like complaining about Comcast customer service, or freeway traffic, or the satanic influence of Dungeons and Dragons. Blah blah blah, who cares? Alien abductions are still happening around us every day, but people just don’t talk about them anymore, because no one is interested in hearing about them because they star you instead of Jennifer Lawrence. If you haven’t been abducted yet, take a number and get in line. Even the aliens own propaganda network, the Discovery Channel, has backed away from alien stories to present new informational atrocities.
• GROWING ACCEPTANCE OF HOMOSEXUALITY IN SOCIETY. This is the most likely possibility in my opinion. Consider the structure of the average male “weekend with the buddies” camping trip: Men deep in the woods without women; lots of alcohol loosening up scruples (and belt buckles); playing with guns and rods; bears. You might as well throw a pink umbrella in that cocktail. Nowadays men are more likely to accept a g(r)ay moment in their lives, but 10 years ago it was psychologically easier to attribute the hazy masked rituals of the church man camp to aliens.
Thank you for visiting Grinsane! I hope you enjoyed this special science fiction horror cartoon installment. Stay tuned next week for… um… I don’t yet, but I’ll think of something (send topics).